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Virgin's Multimillion Dollar Ad Campaign Shows Flight Attendants Are Superhuman

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Virgin stewardesses, flight attendants, Virgin airlines

To celebrate the launch of flights within the UK, Virgin Atlantic has released a new advert celebrating its employees that 'fly in the face of ordinary'.

The multimillion pound advertising campaign, which launches on Saturday, celebrates the skills and talents of Virgin Atlantic employees.

The advert plots the journey of children with extraordinary talents growing up to become Virgin Atlantic employees. One child is obsessed by flight, and he is seen going on to become a pilot. Another child is shown with incredible intuition, and she is seen becoming a glamorous cabin crew member.

The advert coincides with the launch of the airline's domestic flying programme in the UK with flights between London Heathrow and Manchester, Aberdeen and Edinburgh.

Virgin Atlantic is looking to hire 150 extra staff for the domestic flights and the advert hints at the kind of people that make Virgin Atlantic 'fly in the face of ordinary'.

"We're always on the lookout for gifted people to grow our business. Our staff hold the keys to the future of Virgin Atlantic; they work so hard, and we are delighted to dedicate this new advert to them," Sir Richard Branson, President of Virgin Atlantic said.

The advert will be broadcast around the world from January 1, 2013.

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You Must Be Young, Smart, And Gorgeous To Be A Flight Attendant On Thailand's Budget Airline

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It takes a special sort of person to be a flight attendant. In the early days of airplane travel, flight attendants were a cross between nurses and bellboys, then the jet era called for them to be glamorous representatives of the airline.

Today, flight attendants are recognized as service professionals who often undertake a full career in the skies.

Thailand's budget airline Nok Air is still seemingly stuck in that early jet age mindset, however, as they've just launched a recruitment drive via Facebook, with requirements that read more like Barbie's resume than a job posting.

Some of the strict requirements:

  • Females, "age not over 25 (at the time of application)"

  • No shorter than 160 cm (about 5'2")

  • Weight proportionate to height

  • "Excellent communication skills" in English and Thai (and a TOEIC score to prove it). A third language would be an advantage, preferably Mandarin Chinese

  • Minimum education is a Bachelor's degree

  • You must supply photos of yourself in both formal and casual dress

Note that all of this comes mere weeks after their nearly nude calendar scandal.

Having flown on Nok, we can vouch for the fact that the airline is receiving exactly those whom they seek. Our Nok attendants were young, slim, sociable, and ready with both a snack and a smile. Are they having fun? Flying to the paradise of Phuket sure seems like fun. Will they be doing this forever? Definitely not. When an airline recruits in this way, they've already got an expiration date in mind for the crop of new recruits.

nok air recruitment

SEE ALSO: To Make It As A Flight Attendant In China, You Have To Be Beautiful

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A Low-Cost Chinese Airline May Make Its Flight Attendants Wear Costumes

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french maidIf you're planning to fly on China's cheapy carrier, Spring Airlines, the person welcoming you at the aircraft door could be a maid or butler.

No, the low-cost carrier isn't upping their game with white glove service in the skies, but they are having a little fun.

Spring called upon their fans via their Facebook page to suggest themes for flight attendant costumes, the post was accompanied by a young lady attired like a french maid.

Some people took it seriously, offering up themes like traditional Chinese Opera, schoolgirl outfits and Star Wars as themes, others found it pretty offensive.

The critics compared the plan to have their flight attendants (and possibly pilots) dress up to acting like porn stars. Based on the responses from the social media team, however, it doesn't seem as though Spring will be backing down anytime soon.

While safety is a major concern, Spring claims that all costumes will not break CAAC rules, the Chinese equivalent to the FAA.

The entire purpose of dressing like it's Halloween is to attract more passengers and get Spring's name on the lips of travelers planning summer travel.

It looks like the cliche runs true; any press is good press.

SEE ALSO: The 20 Worst Airlines In The World

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An American Airlines Flight Attendant Is Accused Of Bringing Her Pet Rat To Work

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American Airlines at gate

Louann Giambattista was long known by co-workers for her love of pets. And in many offices, bringing your pet to work is gaining acceptance.

But the flight attendant at American Airlines -- who owns a dog, gerbils and hamsters -- saw her reputation take a nosedive when three colleagues claimed to have seen her sneak her pet rat onto a plane and feed him dinner rolls.

That's not even the most disturbing part of their story, either.

The colleagues accused her of hiding the animal, named "Willard," in her pantyhose, according to a lawsuit Giambattista filed against the airline.

Two fellow flight attendants, Connie Bolt and Dora Sterling, "began targeting Ms. Giambattista under the perceived notion that Ms. Giambattista had a mental disability because she was unable to to be away from her pet rats for any time period," Giambattista's complaint asserts.

Giambattista denied their claims, but because her colleagues notified the US Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE), Giambattista is now subject to inspections by federal agents every time she flies internationally, the lawsuit claims. She is claiming "debilitating anxiety" and post-traumatic stress disorder and is seeking unspecified damages.

"She's not a nut. They're making her out to be a nut," he attorney, Stephen Morelli, told the New York Post, which was the first to report on her suit. "She has her pets at home, not at work," he also said. In the complaint, the charges were characterized as "absurd" and "patently false and physically impossible."

The incident involving the rat was alleged to have taken place last February, when Giambattista was working a flight from St. Martin to Miami. Her complaint says she was immediately questioned by a US ICE agent when she got off the plane, which led to the increased scrutiny over her flights. Her complaint adds she was even threatened she would potentially have to undergo a strip search.

Yet the treatment is not so different what everyday travelers have to endure, as a post on on MSN.com points out. "That's what we have to do every time we fly," the news site wrote. Nevertheless, she says the special attention for the stewardess made "it nearly impossible" for her to report to work.
American Airlines has said it will reply to the charges in court.

SEE ALSO: Don't Rush To Blame The 'Inexperienced' Pilot Of Asiana Flight 214

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Flight Attendants Have The Toughest Job At The Airline

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Lee Yoon-Hye Asiana flight attendantThe remarkably successful evacuation of Asiana 214 compels me to write a post in appreciation of flight attendants who have the toughest job at the airline.

Pilots enjoy the fun and challenge of handling the fancy machine. By the time we get into an airliner we are very familiar with the environment of airports, air traffic control, etc.

In the Canadair Regional Jet that I flew we enjoyed about half of the fresh cold air produced by the “packs” while the 51 folks in the back sweated.

We had comfortable chairs and our own escape if we decided that we needed to leave those chairs in a hurry. Unruly passengers in the back? We could just lock the door and clutch our weapons (crash axe that came with the airplane; federally issued 10mm pistol that most of the captains seemed to carry (our airline was founded and based in Northern Kentucky so carrying a gun was as natural to most of these guys as carrying a phone)).

How about the flight attendants? They suffered from the same sleep deprivation and crummy hotels that we did but weren’t logging multi-engine turbojet time.

With up to 50 passengers on each flight there was always a chance that someone would be upset. I remember a day when a few thunderstorms had resulted in three-hour delays at JFK. A passenger was grousing that JetBlue wouldn’t be stuck in the long line that we were in (had he been able to see through the windshield he would have seen a JetBlue Airbus right in front of us).

On one flight we heard a woman shrieking through the locked door. After landing we learned what the trouble was. The flight attendant had started serving snacks from the back of the airplane. As we were a wholly owned subsidiary of Delta (based in Georgia) the two choices naturally included a bag of peanuts. So about 20 of these bags had been opened by the time the 23-year-old flight attendant reached the front row.

The shrieking was from a mother traveling with her two boys who were, in her opinion, so allergic to peanuts that the vapors from the previously opened bags would likely kill them. The flight attendant tried to explain that folks with peanut allergies were supposed to call ahead and the airline would wipe down three rows of seats with alcohol and not serve peanuts during that particular flight, but a stream of abuse continued to issue from the mother.

[The boys walked off the plane, by the way, without showing any ill effects from the peanut-suffused environment.]

The real challenge of being a flight attendant is getting people out. The training requires that they demonstrate they can evacuate an aircraft within 90 seconds, but of course a lot of stuff that is easy to do in training turns out to be tough in practice. So this posting is my thank-you note to flight attendants everywhere and to the Asiana 214 cabin crew in particular.

SEE ALSO: Heroic flight attendant was the last person to leave the burning Asiana 214

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Do You Really Need To Turn Off Your Phone During Flights?

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flight attendant

It’s a fact of life for anyone boarding a plane: all electronic devices need to be turned off during take-off and landing.

Most airlines have had this rule in place for more than a decade now, even though there has been no definitive documented instance in which passengers leaving their devices on caused a plane crash.

So why are we forced to stop listening to music or reading a Kindle during take-off and landing?

Many passengers simply ignore instructions, as shown by a recent US study, which found a third of passengers admit to not always turning off their devices during take-off and landing.

The US Federal Administration Authority (FAA) has responded to growing public skepticism to its "everything must be switched off" blanket rule by setting up a body to look into the issue and has started to slowly relax some rules.

Some US airline staff are now using iPads to replace paper flight manuals and get more information about their passengers.

Last month, British Airways became the first European airline to allow passengers to switch on their mobile phones just after landing.

What’s the point of airplane mode?

Airplane mode or flight mode is a setting available on most electronic devices, such as eReaders and smartphones, which suspends many of the device’s signal transmitting functions.

So why are we still asking passengers to completely power down all electronic devices before take-off and landing, especially when staff are allowed to use tablets?

The argument that electronic devices on a flight (commonly referred to in the industry as "portable electronic devices" or PEDs) have never resulted in a plane crash is beside the point.

As aviation expert and New York Times columnist Christine Negroni wrote recently, there actually have been reported cases of pilots reporting electronic devices interfering with flight systems on commercial flights – issues that subsequently disappeared when the flight crew spotted the offender(s).

In 2001, NASA put out a report compiling data on PEDs attributed to having anomalies with aircraft systems. The report concludes that:

... the data clearly indicates that not only were some events judged as having a critical effect on a system, but they also happened during critical states of flight specifically landings and take-offs.

In 2003, it was found that a charter pilot had called home during a flight and the call remained connected. The plane crashed at Christchurch Airport when the plane flew into the ground short of the runway. Eight people died, including the pilot.

The investigation that ensued from the New Zealand Transport Accident Investigation Commission stated that the pilot’s mobile phone may have interfered with the plane’s navigation system.

In 2011, the ABC in the US reported on a confidential report from the International Air Transport AssociationSTEADS program which uses data provided by the world’s airlines.

The database showed 75 events over the past seven years in which interferences occurred that pilots and engineers think are linked to cellphones or other electronic devices.

And even in airplane mode, a smartphone still emits some electromagnetic radiation, as do devices that can’t connect to the internet, such as MP3 players.

A systems approach to aviation safety

Safety in commercial aviation is not to be viewed as an isolated aspect but as being part of a larger system made up of many interlinked avionics components.

For example, do you think those in-flight safety demonstrations and airplane seatbelts are useless? They’re not.

New generation aircraft are more robust and better shielded to electromagnetic interference disturbance affecting an electrical circuit due to either electromagnetic induction or radiation emitted by an external source – but how many passengers know how old the aircraft they’re boarding actually is?

Another argument that usually comes up involves the use of in-flight Wi-Fi that is offered by certain airlines. If there’s in-flight internet, why can’t I use my phone on the plane?

But those systems are tested and verified according to the aircraft model and the overall system they’re part of – and some don’t make the cut.

There have been reports of electromagnetic interference testing for particular in-flight Wi-Fi systems that showed interference with aircraft avionics display units.

International inconsistencies

It is also worth pointing out that there are no set international rules on precisely when passengers are allowed to turn on their devices. Most US airlines only allow their use above 10,000 feet (about 3km in altitude).

When landing, some airlines prefer to wait until the plane reaches the gates (as most Australian airlines do) while in China passengers typically pull out their phones as soon as the wheels hit the runway.

In recent years, there have been several moves, as previously discussed, to allow more extensive use of electronics devices in-flight, and the discussion on the matter is still going.

Is your mobile phone going to take an entire aircraft down just because you texted your better half? Probably not.

But what you can potentially create is a distraction to the pilots and aircraft crew and if that happens at the wrong time (say during critical flight phases like take-off or landing) then it may have an impact on safety – is it really worth that risk?

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Nearly 30% Of Fliers Have Tipped A Flight Attendant

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flight attendant serving drinksWelcome to Upright Position, SmarterTravel's new weekly series in which editor Caroline Costello discusses emotional and controversial travel topics. Join the debate by leaving a comment below!

There is a poll on the homepage of our sister site Airfarewatchdog that asks, "Have you ever tipped a flight attendant when flying?"

I found the poll's results surprising, given that the concept of offering gratuities to flight crew hasn't crossed my mind, well, ever. Out of more than 500 people who took the poll, nearly 30 percent of respondents said yes, they have tipped a flight attendant in the past.

Really?

This is news to me. There isn't much of an economic foundation for tipping the person who gives the safety demonstration and distributes Terra Blues chips. Flight attendants aren't dependent upon tip income in order to achieve a livable wage. (Still, their salary levels are by no means good rationale for withholding gratuities. Gadling says they make $35,000 to $40,000 annually, on average.) Further, most airlines discourage flight attendants from accepting tips.

Maybe it's not about the money. An essay on tipping on the Financial Page of The New Yorker attests to the social motivation behind the practice: "Tippers aren't trying to drive hard bargains or maximize their economic interests; they're trying to demonstrate their status and to reciprocate what they see as good behavior." If tipping is more a gift imparted in a personal exchange than a requirement in an economic arrangement, then it jibes with air travel.

Flight attendants are super service workers. Their primary role is keeping passengers safe in case of catastrophe—not refilling coffee. They work grueling hours and have extensive training. And their day-to-day grind is poles apart from the glamor of that Pan Am TV period drama. Since attendants are so much more than wait staff, perhaps they do deserve a little recognition in the form of a few bills. Your flight attendant is busy. He's running up and down serving drinks, comforting children, disarming disgruntled passengers. Arguably the fastest and easiest way to communicate some appreciation is to hand him a gratuity on the way off the plane. Will your offer get rejected? Maybe. At least you tried.

It's about recognition and recompense for above-and-beyond behavior. If tips are generally appreciated by flight crew (let's assume here that they are), there's no harm in offering them. There's also no danger that in-flight tipping will become a "thing" and kick off a coach-class shame spiral for budget travelers who keep their wallets closed. A practice that isn't sanctioned by the airline industry is not going to become a trend anytime soon.

What do you think? Should travelers tip flight attendants?

SEE ALSO: RANKED: The Best Airlines In America

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US Airways Kicked A Blind Man And His Service Dog Off Of A Flight

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Blind passenger US AirwaysU.S. Airways is under fire after removing a legally blind man and his service dog from a New York-bound flight and then canceling the flight altogether when other passengers objected. 

In an interview with ABC Philadelphia, Albert Rizzie said that his dog became restless while the plane waited on the runway at Philadelphia International Airport on Wednesday evening for more than an hour before taking off. 

A flight attendant objected when the dog curled up behind his legs and instructed him to have the dog lay under the seat in front of him, instead, he said. 

"[The flight attendant] came back and said to him, 'You've got about a minute to get this straightened out,'"one passenger told ABC New York. "And he tried to do whatever he could, and she went back to the front of the plane. We were taxiing like we were going to take off. And at that point in time, we're about to take off, and all the sudden the captain gets on the PA and says we have to head back to the terminal."

Rizzie and his dog were reportedly escorted off the plane once they arrived at the terminal. A number of other passengers objected to his removal and they, too, were escorted off the plane. 

The flight was then cancelled and the airline paid for the passengers to take a bus to their destination of Long Island, N.Y., according to a statement that the airline gave to ABC Philadelphia.

"Mr. Rizzi became disruptive and refused to comply with crew member instructions when the flight attendant asked him to secure his service dog at his feet," the statement read. "As a result of his disruptive behavior, the crew returned to the gate and removed Mr. Rizzi and his service dog from the flight. ...We apologize to the customers of the flight for the inconvenience. We are continuing to investigate the incident."

Hundreds of patrons have taken to the company's Facebook page to express their outrage over the incident.

"U.S. Airways should be absolutely ashamed of themselves for the treatment of Albert Rizzie and his guide dog Doxy," wrote Jackie DeCara. "The incompetent flight attendant should be asked to resign."

Added Mike Sully Ermini, "Will never fly this airline, ever. ... Shame on that crew."  

SEE ALSO: The Sheer Yoga Pants That Lululemon Recalled Are Back In Stores And Selling For $92

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An Incredible Note-Passing War Broke Out On A Thanksgiving Day Flight And Things Escalated Quickly

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elan gale airplane fight thanksgiving

ABC's "Bachelor" and "Bachelorette" producer Elan Gale was on a flight yesterday live-tweeting his feud with a fellow passenger.

According to Gale's tweets, which were picked up by Buzzfeed's Rachel Zarrell, a female passenger was complaining that she might not make it home for Thanksgiving dinner.

She seemed to be oblivious to others on the flight, who also needed to get home to their families for Thanksgiving.

The battle began before the flight boarded. Gale tweeted about the woman at 11:05 a.m.

A flight attendant tried to calm her down, which was apparently the wrong move.

Once the plane boarded, Gale said he could hear her breathing deeply and muttering from a few rows back. That's when the note-passing war began. He sent her a glass of wine and later two vodka nips with this note:

This was not well received by the woman, Diane. She sent Gale this response, pitying the family who has to "deal" with him:

Gale retaliated with yet another note and escalated the language:

Diane replied, noting its inappropriate nature:

Gale responded again with a vulgar comment:

When the plane landed, Gale waited for Diane to get off the plane and held out a final note. When she saw him, Gale says she smacked him.

Diane may have ended up missing her connecting flight because she smacked him, while Gale was able to board his.

The final note he handed her read:

Yesterday afternoon, Gale wrote a blog post explaining why he felt the need to pick a fight with Diane.

"I don’t care what’s going on with you: Don’t be rude to people who are doing their job," he wrote on Tumblr.

"If you’re the customer, you’re only right if you’re kind, polite and positively thankful. If you’re not, you’re a jerk, and that’s the bottom line ... Be nice everyday, but if you see a man or a woman working on a holiday you better respect that they would like to be with their family too."

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Southwest Got 10,000 Applications For 750 Flight Attendant Jobs In Just 2 Hours

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southwest airlines flight attendant plane wave

Ten thousand people applied for 750 openings to work as flight attendants for Southwest Airlines in just two hours and five minutes, the airline says.

Applications were accepted last week, the first time the airline hired flight attendants from outside the company since 2011, according to Bloomberg.

"Of course anytime we do it, it's like opening up the floodgates," CEO Gary Kelly said in a recorded message for employees.

The global airline industry is on pace to see record profits in 2014. Full-time employment by U.S. carriers has not risen accordingly, but its rate of decline is slowing.

Data from the U.S. DOT Bureau of Transportation Statistics shows the number of full-time employees in the U.S. airline industry dropped .8% between October 2012 and October 2013, the smallest decline since September 2012.

Most low-cost carriers reported an increase in full-time employees, but Southwest reported a 2% drop (to a total of 45,074).

For the first six months, Southwest's new flight attendants will earn $22.36 per trip, a spokesperson for the airline said. A trip is about 55 minutes of flight time, and attendants usually fly at least 72 trips per month.

SEE ALSO: Pilots Union Accuses Booming Norwegian Airline Of Using Cheap Labor Loophole

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27% Of Flight Attendants In Survey Say They've Been Sexually Harassed In The Past Year

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flight attendants escalator silk air changi singapore

The Equal Opportunities Commission, which is based in Hong Kong, carried out a study in which 27 per cent of those who took part said they had been harassed on duty in the past year.

About 47 per cent said they had either witnessed or heard about their colleagues being sexually harassed during a flight.

Most of the cases cited concerned physical contact such as “patting, touching, kissing or pinching”, while others included “non-verbal sex cues” such as “staring in a sexual way”.

Further incidents that were reported involved “sexual jokes and requests for sexual favours” and showing “obscene or pornographic materials”.

According to those who responded, passengers were more likely to harass cabin crew than fellow staff, with 59 per cent of incidents involving airline customers and 41 per cent involving other crew members.

Complaints were only lodged for half of the incidents reported.

The survey was sent out to 9,000 flight attendants through the Hong Kong Flight Attendants Alliance (HKFAA), which includes members from unions representing the staff of Cathay Pacific Airways, Dragonair, British Airways and United Airlines. Of those, 392 questionnaires were completed, 86 per cent of which were from female respondents.

Mariana Law of the Equal Opportunities Commission explained the low response rate to CNN . "Most HKFAA flight attendants are not based in Hong Kong, so it may be difficult for them to respond," she said. "Another reason is that some people may consider sexual harassment an embarrassing or difficult subject and they may not feel comfortable disclosing this information to others."

Last year, a survey suggested that the job of flight attendant was the worst job in travel, coming in a lowly 191st place out of 200 careers surveyed.



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SEE ALSO: We Joined A Bangladeshi Airline For The Bittersweet Final Flight Of The Classic DC-10

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52 Phrases Only People In The Airline Industry Will Understand

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final dc-10 flight biman bangladesh airlines pilot

Sometimes when you’re flying the crew can talk their own language – making you worry there’s something they don’t want you know.

For example: “FAs to all-call, we are approaching an air-pocket. Please prepare for holding pattern, ensure all pax are strapped-in while we handle a 7600.”

We’ve spoken to our airline contacts and done some research on the phrases aviation industry insiders use.

Sourcing some phrases from Patrick Smith’s Cockpit Confidential: Everything You Need to Know About Air Travel, airodyssey.net, airliners.net and rd.com, the list is broken into general terms, nicknames, and the all-important words you definitely don’t want to hear.

General use:

All-call: A request that each flight attendant report to his or her station.

 EFC time: The expect further clearance time is the point at which a crew expects to be set free from a holding pattern or exempted from a ground stop.

Deadhead: A deadheading pilot or flight attendant is one who is repositioning as part of an on-duty assignment. Essentially, they’re flying as passengers while on duty.

Final approach: An aeroplane is on final approach when it has reached the last, straight-in segment of the landing pattern – that is, aligned with the extended centre-line of the runway, requiring no additional turns or manoeuvring.

Air pocket: Colloquial for a transient jolt of turbulence.

Flight deck: The cockpit.

Holding pattern: A racetrack-shaped course flown during bad weather or traffic delays.

Callsign: Phrase used in radio transmissions to identify an aircraft, before proceeding to actual instructions. For example “Qantas 005″.

ETA: Estimated Time of Arrival.

ETD: Estimated Time of Departure.

F/A: Flight Attendant.

Pax: Passengers.

Payload: Revenue passengers and/or cargo, or more specifically their combined weight.

PIREP: Pilot report. Weather observations reported by a pilot in flight.

POB: Number of Persons On Board.

Roger: Used to indicate that an instruction has been received and understood.

Touchdown: Synonym of landing.

UM: Unaccompanied Minor.

Zulu: Used worldwide for times of flight operations, formerly Greenwich Mean Time, now Co-ordinated Universal Time.

ATC: Air traffic control (some say God).

Nicknames:

Bird: Plane/Aircraft.

Flyboy/girl: Pilot.

Ramp-rat: Ground crew.

Cowboys: Cargo Operators.

Pointy end: First Class.

Slam-Clicker: A flight attendant who either doesn’t socialize after a flight or is too tired to — they go straight to their hotel room, slam the door and click the lock.

Crop Dusting: When flight attendants walk down the aisle and fart.

Trolly Dolly: Used to describe a flight attendant pulling the cabin bag in the airport.

Bottle to Throttle: Curfew hours. It is the cut-off time that you are allowed to have a drink before the start of your duty.

Slinging hash: Serving the meals.

Screamer: A passenger who has lost his or her cool.

Steerage: Coach class.

Cockpit queen: A flight attendant more interested in the front end of the aircraft than the cabin.

Blue room: The bathroom.

Tuff cuff: Plastic handcuffs for disruptive passengers.

Crotch watch: The required check to make sure all passengers have their seat belts fastened.

Crumb crunchers: Kids.

Gate lice: The people who gather around the gate right before boarding so they can be first on the plane.

George: Autopilot. “I’ll let George take over.”

Landing lips: Female passengers put on their “landing lips” when they use their lipstick just before landing.

Last Minute Paperwork: A delay causing the flight to wait before paper work. For example a revision to the flight plan or maintenance getting the logbook in order.

Two-for-one special: The plane touches down on landing, bounces up, then touches down again.

What you don’t want to hear:

Ditch: An emergency landing into water.

Mayday: The ultimate international radio distress call, indicating imminent danger to the life of the occupants onboard and requiring immediate assistance.

Pan Pan: International radio urgency call. It usually indicates a threat to the safety of an aircraft or its passengers. Less urgent than Mayday.

Squawks: Problems or discrepancies with an aircraft transmitted by an assigned code. For example:

7700 – Mayday/ Emergency

7600 – Radio Failure/ Lost communication

7500 – Hijacking

5000 – Aircraft flying on Australian military operations

Stall: When airflow over the wing slows down too much and causes a loss of lift. This can be catastrophic in a jet.

Wake turbulence: Turbulence that forms behind an aircraft as it passes through the air. Behind a large heavy aircraft they can be powerful enough to roll or even break up a smaller aircraft.

Windshear: Change in wind speed and/or direction over a short distance, resulting in a tearing or shearing effect, that can cause a sudden loss of airspeed with occasionally disastrous results if encountered when taking-off or landing.

Easy Victor: Evacuate the aircraft.

INOP: Inoperative.

Deadstick: Flying without the aid of engine power.


NOW WATCH: People From Across America Reveal Their Favorite Regional Sayings

 

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How To Make Your Flight Attendant Like You

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silk air

Maybe you don’t want to please your cabin crew next time you fly.

I know, I know, it’s their job to be nice, you're the customer, they're the employee.

But if you're good to them, they'll be extra nice to you. So here's how to charm them.

1. If a flight attendant greets you upon boarding at the Jetway, say hi back. Don't just ignore them.

A simple "good morning" or "good evening" does it. How would you like to greet 20 people in a row and be greeted by silence? Well, that's what usually happens.

2. Listen to the safety demo.

It's just polite. Put down your iPad and Kindle. When was the last time you really listened? If it was more than a few years ago, it's time for a refresher. At the very least don't talk loudly to your neighbor when a flight attendant is standing in front of you trying to keep you safe.

3. Headphones off!

Take your headphones off when they ask you what you'd like to drink so they don’t have to repeat it three times. How would you like it if they were wearing headphones when talking to you? It's the Golden Rule.

4. Be specific when ordering.

When you ask for coffee or tea, specify milk or no milk, sweetener or not, without being asked as in "I’d like coffee with milk please" or "I’d like coffee, black." Not only does it make their job easier, but everyone on the plane will get served more quickly.

5. Same for cold drinks. "I’d like Diet Coke, no ice please" or "Water, with ice and a slice of lemon please."

6. Say please and thank you.

As in the examples above, say please and thank you when asking for and receiving something. Again, common courtesy that will get you treated extra well. A flight attendant once told me "We thought you were company" (meaning that I worked for the airline) because I was so polite.

7. Magazines!

Donate copies of your current magazines to the crew. After you finish reading this week's US Weekly or GQ, give it to your flight attendant. Flight attendants love to read magazines when they're off duty or on break.

8. Treats.

It's perfectly permissible to bring a little taste treat for your crew. Just make sure it’s safety-sealed—not your homemade muffins, which might be considered a safety hazard. I bring boxes of Walker’s Scottish shortbread or factory-sealed chocolates.   They're always a big hit and you may be rewarded with a free cocktail or maybe even get reseated in the exit row. It happens!

9. Pens!

People are always asking flight attendants for pens, whether to complete immigration and customs forms or to simply do the crossword puzzle. Bring a few extra cheap pens, bundle them up and give them to your crewmember. It may not be as enjoyable as a box of chocolates, but they will surely put them to good use.

10. Wheels in!

Try to put your carryon bag with wheels or handles facing in before commandeering twice as much space putting it horizontally. And, for Heaven's sake, don't put your jackets or tiny bags in the bin. That takes up space for larger items that have to go there, and these smaller items easily can fit atop existing bags once everyone has boarded or underneath the seat. Flight attendants will tell you that boarding is the most stressful part of their job, and by exhibiting an ounce of courtesy and common sense, it helps the entire plane get on the way more quickly.

11. Stay out of the aisles.

Make your best effort to stay out of the aisles when the carts are brought out or when the plane is boarding. Try to use the bathroom before boarding or after takeoff, but if the crew begins their service, it is best to stay seated. The carts are heavy and awkward to maneuver, and there's no reason to become an obstacle to them unless absolutely necessary. And if a crewmember reminds you that the seatbelt sign is still illuminated, remember that they are just doing their job.

12. Tell the airline.

If a flight attendant offers exceptionally nice service, most airlines have a mechanism for recognizing them. Ask for their employee number and note the flight number.

Where will all this kindness get you? No, you probably won't get an inflight upgrade (although flight attendants do have the ability to offer them if there's room). Maybe the crew will forget to charge you for your cocktail. Maybe they'll reseat you if the child behind you is wailing like a banshee. I've been offered a bottle of wine at the end of the flight on more than one occasion. But sometimes being nice is its own reward.

SEE ALSO: Gorgeous Renderings Show What A New LaGuardia Airport Could Look Like

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Southwest Flight Attendant Gives The Best Safety Speech We've Ever Seen [VIDEO]

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If you fly Southwest Airlines, you might be getting more of a comedy sketch than a safety talk. One flight attendant knew how to keep her passengers' attention on their trip to Salt Lake City, Utah  by making them howl with laughter.

The stewardess started off her speech, "Can I pretend to have your attention for just a few moments?" And kept the ball rolling by poking fun at the life vests, "In the highly unlikely event that the captain lands us near a hot tub, everybody gets their very own teeny weeny yellow Southwest bikini." And if the oxygen masks come down and you're traveling with small children? "We're sorry," she jokes. 

With that kind of work environment, it's no wonder that Southwest reported 10,000 people applied for 750 openings to work as flight attendants in just two hours back in December.

Check out her hilarious speech below. It's already going viral with more than 5.5 million views in three days:

SEE ALSO: This Massive Private Island In The Bahamas — Once Listed For $55 Million — Is About To Hit The Auction Block

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Flight Attendants Are Using Instagram To Document Their Lives

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We've waxed enthusiastic about Instagram for what seems like forever, including trends like carpet designs and even celeb travel selfies, but a new trending hashtag (with over 320,000 images!) has us shaking our heads.

This hashtag—#crewlife—documents the more casual aspects of what it's like to be part of an airline's crew. All these flight attendant selfies on social media means cabin crew are snapping while in uniform. On planes. Quite possibly while working.

We're not prudes by any means, and it's even nice to catch a glimpse inside what might look like a glamorous life, but we're a little concerned about the possible ramifications of these #crewlife snaps. Some of the shots are cool, such as crew posing with engines of a Boeing 777 and boasting about good views from a layover hotel in a foreign land.


The ones that concern us most are onboard, in-galley pics that might be a bit more questionable when it comes to job duties and responsibilities. After having a bit a browse, it seems airlines from all over the globe are represented in #crewlife, and some crew even go so far as to tag their airline employer in the caption.

There's even a special account from the Russian Federation for documenting the life of flight attendants; have a look at @stewardess_rfgirls:

Airlines are, of course, aware of employee interaction on social media, and handbooks dictate how and how not to appear in official uniform. For example, simple selfies while not performing work duties are okay, but snapping away in the presence of passengers or during necessary work functions are grounds for possible termination.

SEE ALSO: How To Make Your Flight Attendant Like You

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Flight Attendant Explains What Happens When A Passenger Dies In The Air

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british airways boeing 747Cabin crew at British Airways have revealed how they deal with a death at 30,000ft – “move them to first class, and don’t put them in the loo”

While flight attendants are usually adept at dealing with drunk passengers and screaming babies, a lead trainer at the airline admitted that handling a recently deceased flier is a “grey area”. She was, however, able to offer some advice to new recruits, all of which has been captured for a new BBC series, A Very British Airline, to be screened next month.

“You cannot put a dead passenger in the toilet,” she tells trainees. “It’s not respectful and [the corpse] is not strapped in for landing. If they slid off the toilet, they would end up on the floor. You would have to take the aircraft apart to get that person out. Imagine putting someone in the aircraft toilet?!”

Her advice refers to instances where rigor mortis had set in and a body could not be removed from a confined space.

“In a nice, easy world – where someone dying on an aircraft isn’t – you put them back on seats. I know a crew member who had to sit next to someone who passed away for the rest of the flight. All of this is such a horrible topic.”

Once seated, flight attendants should “tuck a blanket” right up to the corpse’s neck, she added. If there is space in first class, they will often be placed there, and nearby passengers informed.

In 2006, a deceased man on a BA Flight 213 to Boston was placed in first class for three hours. "Four male stewards came in carrying the poor chap," one flier on board told the Mail."But he was a bit too big for them. Another passenger lent a hand as they propped him up. They wrapped him in a blanket and strapped him in and semi-reclined the seat. But his head was exposed and leaning to one side, as if he were asleep. I could see the top of his head throughout the flight. I felt quite uneasy, but some passengers were being very British about it and simply not acknowledging there was anything wrong."

The system wasn’t always thus. The trainer goes on to explain that British Airways used to prop up dead passengers and pretend they were dozing.

“It’s what we used to do many years ago – give them a vodka and tonic, a Daily Mail and eye-shades and they were like, they’re fine. We don’t do that [now].”

The four-part documentary, which begins on June 2, follows would-be flight attendants attempting to complete the airline’s intensive training programme.

Telegraph Travel’s Lizzie Porter was given access to Cranebank, BA’s training centre, last week, where – among other things – she took part in evacuation drills and learned how to deal with difficult passengers.

“Cabin crew work is tough and demanding: staff are faced with anything from vomiting, drunk passengers and women in labour to engine failure. And pay is pretty awful,” said Lizzie. “Yet there is a willing supply. In 2013, British Airways had 14,000 applications for 800 cabin crew places. In six weeks, trainees at Cranebank go from man or woman on the street to fully-fledged cabin crew.

“They undergo a full day of fire training, pool sessions to mimic emergency landings on water, and three days are spent on how to treat Club World (Business Class) passengers. You need to know your Fat Duck from your Alain Ducasse, and, with four wines and champagne on board, make sure that you can conduct intelligent conversation about appellations like Pouilly-Fuissé.”

Lizzie Porter’s report will appear in Telegraph Travel on Saturday and on Telegraph.co.uk/travel on Monday, with accompanying video.

A Very British Airline will appear on BBC at 9pm on Monday, June 9.

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The 10 Worst Things You Can Ask A Flight Attendant

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flight attendant

It’s human nature to be curious about someone else’s job, especially when that job is something that is so rare or has been the butt of so many jokes and even more stereotypes.

That’s where I fall in. You see, I’m a flight attendant. So, naturally, I get asked questions about my job almost on a daily basis.

Some are pretty standard (how I get assigned to flights, have I met many famous people), but there are a few questions that I get asked over and over that they have now just become annoying.

To give you an idea of what those are, here are 10 of the most annoying things I get asked about being a flight attendant.

1) So, Are You Never Home?

This is probably one of the most consistent questions I get asked. And, yes, it is almost always preceded by the word “so.” I guess this idea comes from the nature of the job. Though my job does revolve around travel, the fact is, I probably spend more time in my apartment lying on my couch than anyone who works an average 9-5 job. Over the course of a month, I average about 70-80 hours a month flying. So, no, I am home quite a bit.

2) What Is the Craziest Thing That Has Ever Happened on a Flight?

This is the one question that never has a good enough answer for anyone. When someone looks up at you with wide eyes, expecting a tale worthy of an action movie starring Liam Neeson, they aren’t too happy about the story of when a baby threw up on me. There is nothing I can say that will beat whatever someone has in their imagination; it’s a losing battle right from the beginning.

3) What Am I Supposed to Call You Guys Again?

I will never knock people down for trying to be as politically correct as possible, but in this case, I do not care. I have watched people struggle for minutes trying to find the appropriate title for my job.

Meanwhile, I have already lost interest in what they were trying to say. Too often, it ends with, “Can I call you an air hostess?,” or “You guys don’t like the word stewardess anymore right?” Actually, wrong, I absolutely do not care, and by making such a big fuss over it you have turned a normal conversation into an awkward moment I would like to flee from.

4) Is Your Job Like the Show Pan Am?

Yes, yes it is. In fact, I have to stop writing now as my helicopter just landed, waiting to take me to work. Back to reality for a second. It is absolutely not at all like that short-lived show. I can’t speak for the job of being a flight attendant 50 years ago, but today, it is nothing like that. We don’t work with the same people, having month-long layovers, and last time I checked, not many of us are secretly smuggling passports on behalf of the CIA.

5) Is It True About the Mile High Club?

When people ask me this question, my favorite part about it is the hushed tone in which they do so in an effort to get me to let them in on the big secret. Not to disappoint, but in my three years on the job, I have never seen a mile-high club encounter occur or heard from another attendant of seeing one happening (I apologize if this destroys anyone’s fantasies).

I’ve seen it referenced way more in movies then at work. And to be honest, if you saw those lavatories as well as I have seen them, especially after a long flight, I can’t imagine the mile-high club concept would appeal to many people at all.

6) Are There Any Straight Male Flight Attendants?

I am not really sure why this question is socially acceptable, but for some reason I get it a couple times a week. I have never had the urge to ask my friends who happen to be teachers, “Are there any gay male teachers at your school?”

That being said, yes, there are indeed many gay flight attendants, but there are also plenty of male straight flight attendants too. When people hear that, they always seem surprised, and believe it or not, some have even asked me for names, as if I was lying.

7) My Uncle’s Best Friend’s Daughter Is a Flight Attendant. Do You Know Her?

I think it’s really sweet that people tend to get excited when I tell them what I do. In fact, it’s flattering that most of them tell me that I am the first person they know that actually works as a flight attendant. However, there are tens of thousands of us around the world, working at many different airlines. So, chances are, I don’t know your uncle’s best friend’s daughter.

8) Do You Have a Boyfriend In Every City?

I suppose I should probably be slightly offended by this question, but it has been asked so many times, that it doesn’t have the same sting. No, I do not have a boyfriend in every city. I try to spend my time exploring the destinations I am fortunate enough to get to visit, and like most flight attendants, one of the main reasons I do this job is because I love to travel.

So, when I arrive in a new city, you’re more likely to find me, along with the rest of the tourists in town, at the local tourist spots taking pictures; not sitting at a bar waiting to get picked up by a man.

9) Did You Ever Want a Real Job?

Yes, this is a real question I get asked. I never knew that a job that offers a steady income, provides great benefits and requires you to work among a group of hard-working, dedicated co-workers would not classify as “real.” I’m tired, and frankly a little offended, of hearing this question, and I feel like it diminishes the thousands of us that genuinely love our work. It is just as real as any other profession, and most flight attendants I meet adore their work and would consider it as real a job as any other one out there.

10) Do You Want To Date a Pilot?

Here it is, the most asked question of all time. Yes, obviously, my life goal is in fact to reel in a pilot and make him date me. Then I will be set and all my dreams will have come true. This is the reason that I became a flight attendant after all.

No, of course not! There is nothing wrong with the men and women that fly our planes, but I am potentially as romantically interested in anyone else I may meet in general than the pilots that I work with. This is as offensive as asking a nurse if their sole reason for working in a hospital is to meet cute doctors. Sure, I do know a few flight attendants who are in relationships with pilots, but the majority I know are in normal, non-work-related relationships.

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This may have sounded like I am angry/annoyed/generally displeased, but I promise you, I’m not. In fact, I have been known to ask my own dumb questions to people in other professions, such as asking a lawyer or two whether they have ever shouted in court, “You can’t handle the truth!”

We all do it, but next time you see a flight attendant, try asking them where to find the best hamburger in Hong Kong, or how the locals in Mexico shoot tequila. We are way more knowledgeable and interesting than what these 10 questions otherwise indicate.

SEE ALSO: How To Make Your Flight Attendant Like You

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Flight Attendant Reveals How To Be A Really Good Passenger

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John Siefer, 26, right, a flight attendant for a major airline, offers a passenger her choice of beverages on a flight over Chicago, April 15, 1972

According to a flight attendant, here is what you should do if you want to be the world's best airline passenger.

1. Pack your own overhead compartment and find your own seat.

How many times have I had flights unnecessarily delayed because passengers have boarded the plane only to leave their luggage stranded in the middle of the aisle and plop down in their seats?

Expecting us to put away everyone’s luggage in the overhead compartment is unrealistic, and pointing 400 passengers to their seats is a waste of valuable pre-departure time. If you’re physically able, pack your own luggage away and follow the increasing numbers to your seat.

2. Stick to the carry-on rules.

Unless you’re really old, very short, or physically disabled, why can’t you lift your own luggage and put it in the overhead? Is it because your bag is too large and heavy and shouldn’t be there in the first place? Then why are you telling me this? Because by asking me to do it for you, it’s like ratting yourself out to the teacher…and further delaying the aircraft.

3. Be polite.

It’s amazing how far a simple “please” and “thank you” can go — I know because I delivered your in-flight service based on how kind you were to me. Working on an aircraft, you start to notice the compliments that are much less frequent than complaint forms, and I always give better seats, meal preferences, double drinks, and a selection of limited stocked complimentary items to the passengers who treated me like a fellow human being.

4. Acknowledge our presence.

Passengers always seem oblivious to the fact that when we walk through the cabin, we’re under the spotlight of an uncomfortable number of eyes following our every move: bored and bothered passengers whose stares blatantly wonder what’s taking us so long to serve their meal or take away their tray, along with curious first-time passengers who are just so interested in what’s going on.

So it always blows my mind when I finally approach you with the food cart and you a) refuse to acknowledge me and my massive food cart, or b) don’t know what you want — when we both know the menu’s been the most exciting part of your flight so far.

5. Take the food, it’s free!

I’m not sure if it’s because I grew up flying on North American airlines, but I was shocked and amazed when I first experienced the quality of food and options they have compared with the others. But I was also shocked and amazed at the fuss people would put up about receiving free food.

I can assure you, as part of the cabin service, making sure everyone has enough to eat and has received their meal is challenge enough (please consider how small our kitchen for 300 is compared to your kitchen for six), so if you can take what we have for you, it really helps us appreciate you.

6. Don’t stack your tray.

Here’s the tricky part about my big lumbering meal cart that you don’t ever realize until it becomes your very own office space: There is no room for error when you’re putting 64 trays back into the cart, and there’s no “extra” space on any aircraft that can save you if it all goes awry.

We really appreciate it when you don’t stack your plastic melanin cups, dirty, snotty tissues, and other airport rubbish on top of your tray like a teeter-tottering castle of crap. Just organize your tray back to exactly how you found it (place plastic sippy orange juice cup back into empty plastic tea cup) and kindly pass it our way.

7. Use the “Wake Me Up” sticker.

Most long-haul flights provide passengers with a colourful sticker set that’s usually found in either your free headset case or in your complimentary toiletry bag. If you ever come across a set of the two stickers that say “Wake Me Up For Service” and “Please Do Not Disturb,” be the world’s best passenger and declare one on your seat.

I absolutely hated shaking awake countless strangers who were drooling and confused, angry, and startled when I woke them from their sleeping-pill-induced comas to offer food they didn’t want. But it’s my job and I have to ask since we can’t reheat the meals when you wake up, and because when you fly in economy you eat when I say you eat.

In business class, the passenger has the luxury of choosing when they’d like to eat, but since you didn’t pay for that ticket and are back here in the zoo, I’m stuck being the first face you see when you wake up somewhere over the Pacific, disoriented and hangry.

8. Come to the back.

“Monkey see, monkey do” is one of the basic observations of working on an airplane, and bringing a rum-and-coke to 14D as opposed to 48C has its obvious drawbacks. If you’d like anything to snack on, another drink, or need a forgotten toiletry item, please come to the galley at the back of the aircraft, where we’d be so much happier to help you out (if you promise not to tell anybody).

9. Hand me your headset when I ask…

I know you don’t want to and I can appreciate that there’s 20 minutes left in your movie and 20 minutes left in the flight. But when I’m preparing the cabin for landing so you can arrive in Mauritius and go on vacation and you’re making a huge fuss about returning your free headset and missing the end of Frozen, you really are the worst passenger.

The reason we must have your headset stat is that landing is one of the most crucial phases of flight and we need to have every passenger alert and situationally aware in case of an emergency evacuation. We also don’t want you getting tangled in the long headset chords and trapped on a burning aircraft should we need to evacuate. So give me a break, man, and may I please have your headset?

10. …and your blanket.

11. Don’t ask me if I’d like to join the Mile High Club.

That’s lame.

SEE ALSO: How To Piss Off A French Person

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Why Flight Attendants Hate Cell Phones

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flight attendant

About three years ago, I boarded a plane to Florida on a brutally snowy January day. The unpleasant weather made for terrible flying conditions and the flight had been delayed countless times. As we sat on the runway waiting and waiting for the tower to approve take off, most passengers played a mean game of Angry Birds (it was 2011, after all) or battled it out on Words with Friends.

This was before the Federal Aviation Administration allowed the use of mobile devices during takeoff and landing, and as we were parked on the runway, the flight attendants didn't raise any qualms. One particular passenger, a tall, handsome man in an expensive collared shirt, was frustrated with the delays, screaming into his Blackberry three rows in front of me, very vehemently voicing his rage at the weather to anyone in earshot.

When the captain announced that we were finally headed to the Sunshine State, flight attendants scurried down the rows asking us to put away mobile devices, and most everyone obliged ... or at least pretended.

Cell phones just make their jobs even harder.

The businessman, however, just would not hang up his call. As one flight attendant attempted to make it through the safety video over his booming voice, another tried to reason with the man, and as she failed, a third attendant joined in on the efforts. No one could hear the safety demonstration. Their voices grew increasingly stern as we taxied toward takeoff, until the captain threatened over the intercom, just as many parents before him, that he absolutely would turn this bird around if we didn't start behaving.

And then he did. He turned the plane around. He literally pulled a u-turn, went back to the gate, and had the man pulled off the plane by armed guards. The attendants explained the passenger was in violation of FAA regulations and would now face a hefty fine and possibly criminal charges. The other passengers and I sat there, stunned, as the flight attendants shrugged, "Phones."

This is why flight attendants do not like passengers using cell phones during takeoff. They dislike it so much, in fact, that the largest flight attendant union in the United States took the FAA to the U.S. Court of Appeals to bring back the cellphone ban.

Last year, the FAA determined that it was safe for passengers to use electronic devices during takeoff and landing, as long as the airplane is equipped with proper interference technology. Cell phones must be in Airplane Mode, according to the FAA, but as a matter of practical application, it is impossible for flight attendants to check each mobile device. Thirty-one airlines, which carry 96 percent of commercial passengers in the States, have met FAA standards for interference protection.

The flight attendants union, however, believes that not only was the ban removed without going through the proper channels, it also decreases airline safety. The union argued the devices could become projectiles during turbulent takeoffs and landings, and that they distract from the safety demonstration at the beginning of the flight.

George Hobica, an air travel expert, explained that the flight attendants make their strongest point when it comes to safety. "If you asked 100 fliers about the demo, where their life vest is, they wouldn't know. When the plane landed in the Hudson, people left without their life vest — of all planes to leave without your life vest! It is bad enough when people are reading their newspapers, and it is rude for one thing, but it is also dangerous," he said. Cell phones just make their jobs even harder.

One lawyer on the case, addressing the union's concern that the devices can become projectiles, said it was no different than if a book began to fly around, however, Hobica is unconvinced, "It is not the same as reading books. You can read a book and not distract other passengers."

The flight attendants are having a hard time making their case in court, however, as a judge on the case noted, the FAA is simply allowing the use of these devices during takeoff and landing as an option. They are not making a demand of the airlines.

If the flight attendants are not successful in their appeal, they will have essentially no choice but to perform a safety demonstration in front of a group of passengers who are entirely distracted and possibly talking over them. "They don't have any legal standing, they can't even tell people to listen to the safety demonstration," Hobica told me, referring to FAA regulations, "They can say to put down something but they can't enforce it."

On my flight, the businessman was screamed at and threatened by fellow passengers, mainly those in his row. Hobica believes passenger tensions over mobile devices and phone calls will grow exponentially if the use of electronic devices during takeoff becomes the standard. "I would want to say, 'Put that down.' I think if we start having cell phone talks on planes, it'll just lead to fisticuffs. I think most passengers don't want it."

Considering brawls over legroom already disrupted two flights, trips like mine may become more common, except the option to turn the bird around will be far less likely.

So, next time you fly, do your flight attendant a favor: Get off the phone.

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Flight attendants have a secret language — and here’s what they’re saying

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'Senior Mama'

flight attendantsAn affectionate term used to describe veteran flight attendants.

As a newbie, I had heard horror stories about flying with the "senior mamas."

When I discovered I’d be flying with Blanche, a no-nonsense veteran who never smiled, I was scared. But I listened and asked questions.

By the end of the trip I knew not only how to perfect my drink cart but also how to cook rice in the coffee pot.

“Here,” she said handing me a strange utensil at the end of our last flight. “You’ll never need another piece of silverware in the air again.”

And I haven’t. I’ve used my spork — half spoon, half fork — on every flight.

'Pink-eye'

No, I’m not breaking out my medical kit to cure your conjunctivitis.

If a red-eye is a long overnight flight, a pink-eye is any flight just short of that.

For the purposes of the airlines, a red-eye is a flight that touches the 1 a.m. hour, so a flight that goes into midnight but narrowly escapes the next hour could be defined as a pink-eye.

'Victory lap'

After a three- or four-day trip flying to several cities, flight attendants will often get stuck flying back to their base airport, but still be required to do a quick turn to a city close to home before finishing.

Sometimes it's called a "turn-and-burn," because there is no time to clean and refuel the aircraft.

'Lips and tips'

A reference to a flight attendant’s matching fingernails and lipstick. Used as a gentle reminder that, despite 12-hour days, 5 hours' sleep, meals grabbed during 30-minute layovers and eaten standing up, drunken passengers, medical emergencies involving bodily fluids, and hauling around enough supplies to maneuver a small army, we flight attendants should aim to be flawless at all times.

'Flip-flop'

flight attendantIf your flight attendant seems cranky, a "flip-flop" could be the culprit. And no, it doesn’t involve the beach vacation.

The term refers to a flight attendant’s schedule when he or she flies one red-eye arriving in the early-morning hours, has the day on layover to sleep, and then must report for the first flight out the following morning around 5 or 6. It is the equivalent of forcing a night owl into a morning-person’s schedule overnight.

'Turn'

Flight “How was L.A.?” and “How was New York?” my friends often ask me.

I wouldn’t know; I only had a "turn."

In other words, I high-tailed it to some fabulous city, didn’t get off the plane, and flew right back to my base airport.

It is as glamorous as it sounds!

'Hot room'

Otherwise known as on-premise reserve, standby reserve, and “the couch,” but most accurately described as hell. The hot room at the airport is where they stick reserve flight attendants for a block of time so that the airline can use them at will.

If you’ve got a delayed flight and your flight attendant rolls in late, chances are she was just pulled from “the couch” five minutes before to cover the position. And she will be prepared to go to China or Africa with no prep time.

'Deplane'

As a former English teacher, hearing this made-up word is more grating than the call bell ding.

People don’t "decar" or "detrain," yet we are now "deplaning" passengers in droves.

While the term "disembark" is sufficient, I’ve given in and started using the current lingo.

So, when you hear "deplane," it just means it’s time to remove yourself from the aircraft. Quickly please!

'Bulkhead'

Empty plane The two sisters were sitting in the front row of first class when I noticed the small red gift bag at their feet. “I’m sorry, ladies, but you are seated in the bulkhead, and I’ll have to put that gift bag in the overhead compartment,” I said pointing to the lack of under-the-seat storage.

The sister at the window willingly handed over the merchandise. “This is heavier than it looks,” I commented.

“It’s our mother,” the one in the aisle giggled, “and we are giving her the 'Weekend at Bernie’s' trip.”

I shut the bag in the overhead as my face turned the same shade as the bag.

The moral: Not even your dearly departed gets a free ride in the bulkhead during take off and landing.

'UM'

“Where are their parents?” a passenger steamed about the 6-year-old triplet boys who couldn’t keep their hands off the call button. “Right now that would be the flight attendants,” I explained. “They are UMs traveling alone.” "Unaccompanied minors" can travel as young as 4 years old. On flights with multiple UMs, you may find us bribing them with M&Ms if they promise to nap.

'Tagging'

Just when we hear the landing gear come down and think we’re free for the rest of the day, we may get hit with a tagged flight to another destination. As a new flight attendant, I once had a turn to Dallas in January. Simple. The weather was warm so I didn’t bring a coat.

Unfortunately, I was tagged onto a trip to Omaha and then Calgary. It was snowing in both locations, and I was forced to borrow a pilot’s coat just to get to my layover hotel.

SEE ALSO: 100 trips everyone should take in their lifetime

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